DiagnozÄ— – vienturtis
2008-01-16Žodžių junginiai “mano brolis” ar “mano sesuo” man svetimi. TodÄ—l, kad esu vienturtÄ—. Skaitau H. Murakami knygÄ… “Ä® pietus nuo sienos, į vakarus nuo saulÄ—s“, kurios herojus taip pat yra vienturtis ir dÄ—l to vaikystÄ—je kompleksavo. Pagalvojau apie save. Ar bÅ«tų kas nors kitaip, jei turÄ—Äiau sesÄ™ ar brolį?
Kaip raÅ¡o H. Murakami knygoje, “Mano pasaulyje egzistavo giliai įsiÅ¡aknijÄ™s įsitikinimas, kad vienturtis yra nesavarankiÅ¡kas, tÄ—vų lepinamas ir labai savanaudiÅ¡kas vaikas”. Arba “Tas žodis visada tarsi pirÅ¡tu baksnodavo tiesiai į mane: “Tu netobulas!”. Tiesa, vaikystÄ—je ir manÄ™s gailÄ—davo kai kurios tetos, kad esu vienturtÄ—. Atseit, vargÅ¡elÄ—, neturi su kuo bendrauti, iÅ¡lepinta.
Bet juk taip nÄ—ra. Niekas manÄ™s per daug nelepino. NemokÄ—jimÄ… pasidalinti, pavyzdžiui, skanumynais, tÄ—vai iÅ¡gujo ilgais moralais. Tiesa, namie neturÄ—davau su kuo žaisti, užtat kieme buvo pilna draugų. Ir puikiai su jais sutariau. Nebuvau ir nesu savanaudiÅ¡ka. O dÄ—l savarankiÅ¡kumo – kaip tik tiek vaikystÄ—je, tiek paauglystÄ—je buvau labai savarankiÅ¡ka. Kai kitiems mamos ruoÅ¡davo pusryÄius ir tempdavo iÅ¡ lovos, pati atsikeldavau į mokyklÄ…, pavalgydavau ir kartais pažadindavau po darbų pavargusius tÄ—vus. Už rankutÄ—s manÄ™s nereikÄ—jo vedžioti.
Manau, kad toks “vienturtiÅ¡kumas” – tik į naudÄ…. GalbÅ«t tai suteikÄ— rimtumo, mat augdama viena, įpratau situacijas aptarti pati su savimi ir per daug kitiems nesipasakoti. Žinoma, tai labai priklauso nuo tÄ—vų. Jei jie vaikÄ… lepina kaip vienintelÄ™ ir nepakartojamÄ… savo atžalÄ…, saugo nuo visko ir atleidžia visus nusižengimus, iÅ¡ vienturÄio gali iÅ¡augti tikras monstras.
TaÄiau žinau ne vienÄ… atvejį, kaip tokie monstriukai iÅ¡auga dviejų vaikų Å¡eimose. Kai vienas yra žymiai vyresnis už kitÄ…, antrajam visuomet pasiseka labiau. TÄ—vai vyresni, vaikas greiÄiausiai antras ir paskutinis, galbÅ«t geriau uždirba nei jaunystÄ—je, taigi lepina savo antrÄ…jį kaip tik iÅ¡manydami. Tuomet gresia tik nesutarimai ir pavydas. Pirmagimis jauÄiasi nei vienturtis, nei turintis brolį/seserį. GreiÄiau užmirÅ¡tas ir įskaudintas.
Å iandien daugiau nei 10 metų už mane vyresnis kolega pasakÄ—, kad taip pat yra vienturtis. TaÄiau jam gaila, kad neturi brolių ar seserų. Sako, bÅ«tų taip lengviau gyventi. Gal. TaÄiau kartais broliai ar seserys, kurie pasuka ne tuo keliu, tik sukelia rÅ«pesÄių. Ir pažįstu kelis asmenis, kurie daug mieliau bÅ«tų buvÄ™ vienturÄiai.
Negaliu pasakyti, koks jausmas bÅ«tų, jei vaikystÄ™ bÅ«Äiau praleidusi su broliu ar seserimi. Manau, kad bÅ«Äiau visai kitokia. Patyrusi daugiau nusivylimų, galbÅ«t ne tokia savimi pasitikinti. Juk artimieji visuomet moka sugriauti iliuzijas. Ar man bÅ«tų geriau – nežinau. Bet Å¡iaip esu patenkinta. Žinoma, ima baltas pavydas, kad kiti visuomet turi dar vienÄ… ar kelis artimus žmones, su kuriais susitikti gali vidury nakties ir pasiguosti. Su jais galima pasidalinti rÅ«pesÄiais, iÅ¡sipasakoti, jie tau pagelbÄ—s, kai bus sunku. Su jais lengva kalbÄ—tis, nes jie apie tave žino beveik viskÄ….
TodÄ—l ir aÅ¡ norÄ—Äiau kelių vaikų. StandartiÅ¡kai, dviejų. Nes vienturtį nežinau ar iÅ¡auklÄ—siu, o daugiau bijau nesuvaldyti. Ir metų skirtumas neturÄ—tų bÅ«ti didelis. Nes vyresniajam nenorÄ—Äiau užkrauti auklÄ—s vaidmens, o ir žaisti jiems bÅ«tų smagiau. Pati niekada nepraÅ¡iau brolio ar sesers, bent jau neprisimenu, taÄiau savo vaikams norÄ—Äiau suteikti kitokiÄ… patirtį.
Žinau, kad turintys brolių ar seserų man pasakys “oi, kaip nenorÄ—Äiau bÅ«ti vienturtis, juk daug geriau, kai turi tokį artimÄ… žmogų”. GalbÅ«t. Bet vienturÄių bÄ—dos, savanaudiÅ¡kumas ir lepumas – tik stereotipas. Jie gal tik uždaresni. Ä®pratÄ™ “žaisti” vieni. TaÄiau tikrai ne blogesni už kitus.
Komentavimas leidžiamas tik registruotiems vartotojams.
SalomÄ—ja
2008-01-16 17:27Na mano brangusis vienturtis. Gal todÄ—l dažnai mÄ—gdavo kartoti “esu priprates buti vienas”. Kažkaip jo tikrai nelepino ir net kalÄ—dų senis nebeneÅ¡Ä— dovanų nuo tada kai jis suprato, kad jo nÄ—ra.
AÅ¡ pati turiu brolį. VaikystÄ—je kažkaip buvau lyderÄ—, jis mano Å¡eÅ¡Ä—lis. Tikrai nebuvom artimi. TaÄiau dabar užaugus, jau turiu vienu draugu daugiau.
Jolanta
2008-01-16 17:54:)) Vaizdelis labai pažįstamas ..Jei rimtai, tai puiku būtų turėti artimą sielai seserį ar brolį, į kur galėtum kreiptis vyriškos pagalbos. Bet nieko baisiau nėra, kai jį turi ir jis tau sukelia begalę problemų ir skausmo.
Iš autorės pasakojimo apie vaikystę susidaro įspūdis, kad ji sulaukė per mažai tėvų dėmesio ar net buvo per mažai mylima .. :)
Laura
2008-01-16 18:02Mylima autorÄ— tikrai buvo pakankamai ir nesijauÄia nei nuskriausta, nei palikta be dÄ—mesio :) Juk lepinimas nereiÅ¡kia meilÄ—s. GreiÄiau pataikavimÄ… vaikui :) Pažįstu ir žmogų, kuris prisipažino buvo lepinamas, bet niekada nepajautÄ— tÄ—vų meilÄ—s…
Jolanta
2008-01-16 18:51Kartais pamąstau, kad meilė vaikui reiškia pasitikėjimą juo, jo vertinimą kaip asmenybę, pokalbiai kaip su rimtu partneriu.. Bet dažnai protingos mintys ateina gerokai per vėlai :D
DovilÄ—
2008-01-16 20:32Nemanau, jog buvau lepinama, o gi išgirdę žmonės, jog esu vienturtė, nenustemba. Bet ne vien brolių/seserų turėjimas formuoja charakterį. Dar yra šis tas įgimto, yra tėvai, mokykla, kiemo draugai, televizija ir dar velniai žino kas.
Faktas, kad niekada ir nenorÄ—jau brolio ar sesers.
Blogorama #311 : nežinau.lt
2008-01-16 20:51[...] Išvados. Lietuviai yra tragiškai nelaimingi, nes per mažai uždirba, turi daug ir sunkiai mokytis, nuolat dairosi į praeitį ir kabinėjasi prie vienas kito vaikystės. [...]
Vax
2008-01-16 21:02Hm, na as irgi vienturtis, bet nejauciu jokios diskomforto. Vienturtis ir tiek (:
elt.lt » Blog Archive » Apžvalga. Å iandien aÅ¡ skaiÄiau… #26
2008-01-17 1:44[...] Novum šį kartÄ… svarsto, ar ne geriau bÅ«ti vienturte, nei turÄ—ti brolių ir seserų… [...]
Justinas Beinorius
2008-01-25 21:36Turiu dvi seses ir vienÄ… brolį, visi jie jaunesni už mane, taÄiau tikrai nenorÄ—Äiau, kad situacija Å¡eimoje bÅ«tų kitokia.
Jauniausioji sesuo gimÄ— prieÅ¡ du metus (vÄ—lyvas vaikas) ir kai pamaÄiau, kad mama su pilvu vaikÅ¡o galima sakyti net ir pyktis suÄ—mÄ—.. Dabar, kai ji gyvena mÅ«sų Å¡eimoje jau keletÄ… metų, atrodo, kad visÄ… pasaulį dÄ—l jos ateities nugriauÄiau. AÅ¡ jÄ… taip myliu..
Kiek vyresni, bet vis dar mokyklinio amžiaus brolis su seserim visad buvo tokie, kurie “užknisa”. Tai jiems leisk prie kompiuterio, tai dar kažkas. Bet.. galiausiai vienas prisÄ—dÄ™s supranti, kad tai didžiulis turtas.
Ä®domiausia, kai per Å¡ventes susitinka mano tÄ—vai su savo broliais ir seserim. Matai kaip jie bendrauja, pykstasi visai kaip vaikystÄ—je, taÄiau jų akyse meilÄ— ir pagarba. O nuotraukos nuotraukos… Kaip gražu nuotraukose matyti brolį ir seserį nespalvotoje nuotraukoje, kažkur pusnynuose. Ech :)
Saule
2008-12-12 12:13As taip pat vienturte ir man tie zodziai “sese, brolis” yra labai svetimi. Augau tik tarp vyresniu zmoniu, kieme nebuvo mano bendraamziu, tik vyresni, tad ir zaidimu su lelem nebuvo. su pliusiniais zaisliukais tik viena kiek pasizaisdavau. Neturejau nei pusbroliu, nei pusseseriu.
Kiti stebedavo, kaip as viena galiu vaikscioti i kino teatra ar tiesiog eit i miesta pasivaikscioti. O man tai normalu, nes visuomet buvau pakankamai savarankiska. Turejau draugu, bet niekad nemokejau ir nemoku su draugem eit i parduotuves apsipirketi pvz.
Dabar turiu mylima zmogu ir man to daugiau nei pakanka. Ir jokio vaiko nenoriu, nes neisivaizduoju, kad su kazkuo reiketu nuolat buti. Isproteciau be vienatves. Nes neesu kompanijos, vakareliu zmogus. Man vienas zmogus salia tai daugiau nei pakankamai, o trecias – nereikalingas.
Jurga
2008-12-15 14:21As taip pat vienturte, ir sutinku su viskuo, kas cia rasoma, tik del pasitikejimo savimi… As kaip tik nepasitikiu savimi, nes visa gyvenima privalau nesti tobulumo nasta – geriausiai besimokancios, pacios graziausios, pacios talentingiausios, pacios puikiausios,… – kurios nebepakeliu :(
Laura
2008-12-15 17:10AÅ¡ irgi mÄ—gstu vienatvÄ™. Ir taip pat nemoku eiti su draugÄ—mis apsipirkinÄ—ti :) TurbÅ«t vienturÄių toks bruožas – nebijoti vienatvÄ—s.
O tobulumo naštos nešti man neteko. Nei mane per daug gyrė, nei per daug iš manęs reikalavo. Tai jau tėvų žalingas įprotis iš savo vaikų suformuoti idealus. Nebepakėlę tokios naštos jie tiesiog spjauna į viską ir pasuka priešingu keliu. Gal, Jurga, reikėtų po truputį tapti savimi? Juk gyveni savo gyvenimą :)
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